i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
