i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
