So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
