if you like me you must not know who I am
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
