If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line