i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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