She said her name was "party"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
