Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
