I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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