My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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