like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
