I just made out with a guy for $7.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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