Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
