So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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