Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
