Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
