I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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