Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
