you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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