There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
