just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
