The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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