this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
