And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my sisters under your porch take her home
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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