We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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