Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
