By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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