Where is the hickey?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dicks are not precious.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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