Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
