ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
