Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
