Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't special order awesome
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
