I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
