I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
