it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
