I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
