i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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