im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
