but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
