How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
