i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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