"it" just moved
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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