I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
