p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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