Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
