u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
