i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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