So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
