I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
