The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You just made me feel so damn special
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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