It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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