I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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