Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He better not be in your backpack
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
