I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Buhtt sex?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
