another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
