It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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