five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
