No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
