is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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