he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
