your room smells of hookers.
And success
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
