so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
