my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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