was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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