my mouth tastes like poor choices
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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