halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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